15.12.11

This is wht I'm scared after all this time.

Two young teenagers sit on silence. avoiding each other's eyes and busy on their mind. drowning. deeper. with some touch of memories which come like knifes. poking, scraping, scratching, and finally undermine their entire defense..

Girl:

he never make any effort for me, he doesn't even wanna fight for me, he said he miss me but he doesn't do anything, he told me that he loves me, but he never show me enough.

Guy: 
I'm tired of never being good enough, why she's asking so much? Isnt it just enough that I let her know she's the one and only? I tell her that I love her, and mean it. what should I do then?

Girl:
He never shows that he loves me in front of his guy friends, with those jerks he acts differently, he even doesnt want me to hang out very often with his guy friends. What else the reason except he's shy and embarrassed being with a girl like me? Yes yes, I know I'm not that pretty, that hot, that attractive or that attention-center-diva. Whatever boy, doesn't he know that I just wanna make friends, anyway, some of them are funny and I enjoy being around em.

Guy:
For god's sake, there's always always a line beside relationship and friendship. And yes, there's some jackass in my gang but they appreciate me and kind to me. I love them and I don't want to have any problem with you if you figure it out and start commenting or giving me advice about it. I'm avoiding arguments okay? Otherwise when I see you hang with them I'm also afraid that you could, probably, fall for one of them who's maybe more gentle than me, or a guitar cutie, or.. hell yes, I'm avoiding that possibility. with a little bit of jealousy. And duh, please stop being so insecure about yourself, you're not just pretty. Well, you're beautiful..

Girl:
Sometimes I can feel him staring and kinda make me blush, I think he thinks I'm kinda gorgeous.. but why he never tell me that? Sometimes I also want to get compliment doesn't he know?

Guy:
To be honest,  Im not that kind of corny-frontal boys, or romantic sorta thingy. I thought she already know by the way I treat you.. Otherwise, if she can't accept me just the way I am  then why did we even start this?

Girl:
Sometimes I want him to start opening up about what he really feels, he seem just okay with everything, even for me it looked like he doesnt care at all. I want that serious conversation so we both can explain what each other feels.. ah, he'll never be able to get whole mind on those kind of heavy stuff. He prefers having fun around and things. Anyway, I think it has no point anymore now..

Guy:
Not rarely I've been thinking to spontaneously tell her what's on my mind in some good situation. Like, you know, we just enjoy doing our things together and suddenly I pops out something, in kinda joking way so she can accept it positively. But, at the same time i dont think she can.. And now, look at her, she's about to end this.. It's just too late.


Girl:
"We're just, for some reason.. not meant to be, I guess.." But I love you! Please say something to make me stay!
Guy:
"So.. that's what you want.. I, I understand. Wish you a better life and thanks for everything." Damn, I dont know how long will it take to get over this, but I need to appreciate her decision..


(Last hug)

Girl: 
(holding tears) It's always like this, Im the only one who's hurt and he'll just go back to his friends. Laughing. Totally okay.
Guy: 
(looking up, close his eyes) Then she's gonna go to her girlfriends, go shopping, flirt to new boys and being just alright. Haha yes I knew it..


(Pull over, making some distance and look at each other eyes. Both of them are unreadable, too many emotions there so it's blurred)

Girl:
"Bye." I guess he never really loved me..
Guy:
"Bye." I guess she never really loved me..


Taken from venus aretha.

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