25.8.11

I told you..my fairytale.

I was trying to fly, but I'm too scared become like Icarus. Did you know Icarus? No? Okay I'll tell you his story, prepare your pillows and sure, a cup of coffee. Trust me, you need it because it'll be a loooong post.

Who's Icarus? You like a Greek myth? Or have you ever read Percy Jackson? If you do, absolutely you know this sad-story. Icarus  is the son of the master craftsman Daedalus. The main story told about Icarus is his attempt to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax. He ignored instructions not to fly too close to the sun, and the melting wax caused him to fall to his death. A sad ending, rite? What a pity. This is one of the tragic examples of hubris or failed ambition.

Now you know how's the story. Sure, you know the reason why I'm scared. In my case, 'fly' not means 'fly' in Icarus' opinion. I mean 'fly' is reaching my dream, Icarus also did. He tried to reach his dream to see the sky, but hubris makes he fell. I'm too afraid if I become a arrogant-egoistical-too much self-confident person. I'm too afraid I fail. What if....What if...What if... I know, too much what ifs. 

Ozi, oh yea I changed my boyf's nick-name from Fae or Jake to Ozi. Well, he always tell me that all I need is just become myself. He knows that I have a big big big dream, and I need a big struggle to reach it. I really want to passed SNMPTN Undangan, I really do. I know everybody want it too, but in my case, I really really want it. Because I want to get in management (I'm a science program, btw). So my first chance is in SNMPTN Undangan. I'm a bit afraid to face SNMPTN tulis, like I'm a science program not a social. Could I prepare myself for a month? And I want prove my ability, I want to prove to my Dad, to my Grandma, to everyone who underestimate me, that I could.

My Grandma always compare me with my cousin, she got in Engineering. My Grandma told me that she was very proud has a grandchild like my cousin. And she also told that 'She's got in engineering. Only a smart one who could got in engineering. She's a really my family descendant. You? I'm not that sure'
I know Grandma, she's smart, very smart. But it hurts me when you said she's a really your family descendant and you're not sure that I am. It hurts, hurts. So, I have to get on engineering so you'll admit me to be yer descendant? Sorry Grandma, but I do have a choice.

Ozi told me that 'Don't let your future determined by your Grandma. It's your future, not hers'. I know, I really do. I just being tired become someone full of musts, shoulds and have to-s. Thanks. It just enough.

I'm so glad I have a boyf like him, who keeps me stronger to face this f-ing world. He take me high without a wing. Even I always pretend not to think he's my world, but he really is. Thank you, thank you, thank you :-)

4 comments:

  1. nice one :)
    btw i looove greek myth :3

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  2. oh thank you :)
    wah sama dong :D

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  3. sumengaaaat nellsy \(^o^)/ *maap ganti nama sembarangan* manajemen dmn?

    btw Katy Perry's Fireworks used to be the #1 most played song in my music player sejak selesai UNAS. and, oh, Glee! Somehow everytime I feel down I used to think abt Rachel Berry and her ambition to be in Broadway show (yes I know this one's weird enough to be in my spirit-booster list but that's true) lol

    okeh, maaf meracau (-__-")

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  4. gppa kak nindsy (з´⌣`ε)pengennya manajemen UGM kak, tp kata ayah tekdus aja, kan itu juga ada manajemennya
    well, satu yg ta beratin sebenernya kak, ini aku udah bersakit-sakit belajar IPA 2 tahun mau dikemanain?!! *maaf lagi galau*

    haha iya kak, firework udah aku puter bolak balik, wish it can cheering me up
    hope the best luck for me! \(^o^\)\(^o^)/(/^o^)/

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